After my Rant on Political Discourse yesterday, I was left thinking about The Boy Who Cried Wolf. I’ve talked before on these pages about the need to tone down our rhetoric, but haven’t yet called out anyone responsible. From this day forward, I will.
Every day As often as I post, I will call out a person, group, website that deserves the ire of our nation for the ill effects of their words or actions on our national conversation. Furthermore, I will be giving out a sort of award for each one. At first I will start with five categories, however, I’m sure that will grow over time.
I will do my best to keep this as non-partisan as possible; although the Left tends not to say much of note anyway so I am sure it’ll be more focused on our political Right.
Without further ado, here are your new awards:
Colonel Klink’s Award for Proving Godwin’s Law
For those that are uninitiated in the minutae of Godwin’s Law, here is the jist. As an Internet discussion gets longer, the chances of comparing your adversary to a Nazi approaches 100%. Furthermore, there is no valid comparison to Adolph Hitler, Joseph Goebbels, Heinrich Himmler, Auschwitz, or any of the National Socialist apparatus in our current political climate, therefore, all comparisons are considered null. Everyone who breaks Godwin’s Law on this site will receive a Klinkie. “I see NOTHING.”
The South Will Rise Again
During the Health Care debate and throughout the election of 2010, various ragamuffins, undesirables, and political rapscallions proposed the idea of secession from the United States if they didn’t get their way. Perhaps the most famous incident in this regard belongs to my own governor, Rick Perry. I do declare that anyone advocating secession, state nullification, whitewashing the history of the Civil War, or generally embarrassing me of being a Southerner will be awarded a Sammie.
The Homer Stoke Award for Accomplishments in Racism
Homer Stoke was a fine man that had a midget as a good friend and a broom in hand “to sweep (Mississippi) clean.” Unfortunately, he had the small issue of being the Grand Wizard of “a certain secret organization”, the Klu Klux Klan. This O Brother Where Art Thou character was for the little man, government reform, and the lynching of black guitarists who may or may not have sold their soul to the Devil. While the winners of this award almost certainly will not advocate the lynching of anyone, I still contend that the sentiment of racism and racial supremacy will still be there as will a Stokie.
The Albert Einstein Award for Science
If you don’t know the science then don’t try to use it. I will try to keep the Einstein’s away from Climate Change denialists and Creationists as long as they argue their normal talking points. I will try to reserve this for those who argue in full voice their beliefs while either butchering or misconstruing the underlying science. Despite my intention of keeping Creationists away from the Einsteins, I have a feeling Ken Ham will be a multiple winner.
The Thomas Jefferson Declaration of History
In my adopted state of Texas, the State School Board successfully removed Thomas Jefferson out of parts of the state textbook standards. As a result, our 3rd President is none too happy. He thought about going Godzilla on Houston but considered that a bit too-Aaron Burr. Instead, he will sit on high handing out history lessons to all the sinners below.
The Super Nanny State
This should be self-explanatory. Anyone telling us how to live our lives will get this. This award may just stay in either San Francisco or New York with their attempt to ban anything bad for you and even the slightest bit fun.
If you have ideas for additional awards, please don’t be shy. See ya’ll on the red carpet!!!
