Posts tagged ‘Bizzaro’

September 28th, 2010

Segway’s owner dies on, well, a Segway

This really is a sad story because Jimi Heselden sounds like a good man, but you can’t deny the irony.  Even O’Henry didn’t see this one coming.

Reporting from London — A British businessman who last year bought the company that makes the Segway scooter fell to his death off a cliff in northern England, apparently while riding one of the vehicles on his estate.

West Yorkshire police said in a statement that the body of Jimi Heselden, 62, had been pulled Monday from the River Wharfe near the town of Boston Spa after a call from a passerby.

Local media reports said he was believed to have lost control of his scooter Sunday on a wooded path that runs close to a 30-foot drop to the river.

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April 17th, 2010

From the mental giants…

….that brought probably really enjoyed the Christian Side Hug, now bring you the the Tea Party Rap.  I can’t put into words how bad this is.  Even the grey hairs in the crowd are praying for President Obama and his Kenyan Socialist Army to make this guy the inaugural inmate at one of the many secret FEMA Concentration Camps.

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April 13th, 2010

“Tesla was Electric Jesus”

A new installment of Drunk History featuring Duncan Trussell discussing the life and times of Nikola Tesla.

For those of you uninitiated to Drunk History, take a look at my personal favorite—the story of Alexander Hamilton.  The cell phones are a nice touch.

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December 9th, 2009

First Rule of Fight Club….

…is you don’t wear a manpurse holster.

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Tyler Durden- “Is that what a real man is supposed to look like?”

[hattip:BoingBoing]

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November 23rd, 2009

Christian Side Hug

2 rules I have….

1. Don’t listen to idiots.

2. Don’t listen to white people rap.

These are easy rules to live by, and I believe would make the world a better place if implemented on a grander scale.  With that in mind, I bring you……the Christian Side Hug.

Have Calvinistic thought and hip hop so permeated mainstream white, protestant culture and so repressed our nation’s young sexually that we must have rap* songs promoting a “safe” hug?  You know what I see when I watch this clip?  A bunch of idiots running around like fools. I see a bunch of girls in the crowd who are going to get pregnant out of wedlock because they’ve been taught an unrealistic abstinence-based sex education all of their lives.  Girls and young women that feel so demonized for having natural sexual attractions that they refuse to talk to anyone about their feelings.  Uninformed kids make bad decisions and that room is full of uninformed kids that think the Big Guy in the Sky will hate them for eternity for acting on natural impulses.

[edit-Do you think the Rough Riders(DMX, Eve, etc) practice the Christian Side Hug?]

*-I realize that this is rap in the loosest definition of the term.

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November 23rd, 2009

Teabagger FAIL!!!!!!

“Columbus go home!!!!”   This is what happens when lemmings with no idea about their country’s history get together.  Idiocy.

Its no secret that with an invasion of immigrants, comes waves of crime.  We see them involved in massive theft, in murder, and bringing diseases like smallpox, which is responsible for the death of millions of Americans.  These aren’t new problems though, they have been going on for hundreds of years, and continue to this day.

I say its time for us to say enough is enough!  Are you with me?  Are you with me?  Lets send these European immigrants back where they came from!  I don’t care if they are Polish, Irish, English, Italian, or Norwegian!  European immigrants are responsible for the most violent and heinus crimes in the history of the world, including genocide and slavery!  Its time to restore the sovereignty of people native to this land!  I want more workplace raids, starting with the big banks downtown.  There are thousands of illegals working in those buildings, hiding in their offices, and taking Dakota jobs.  Let’s round them up and ship them out.  Then we need to hit them at home where they sleep, I don’t care if we separate families, they should have known better when they came here illegally!

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November 4th, 2009

BEARS!!!!!!!!!!

angry_bear

Mike Ditka mauls Muslim Separatists in Kashmir.

A police spokesman said an angry bear mauled two high-ranking Hizbul Mujahideen commanders who had set up camp inside its cave in the southern part of the Indian-run state, the Hindustan Times reported.

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October 26th, 2009

Potato Gatling Gun

Oh, how quickly would I go to jail if I built one of these and let it loose on my quiet neighborhood.

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Potato Gatling Gun

[hattip: BoingBoing]

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October 26th, 2009

That Waldo bastard has been found for good.

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We Found Waldo

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April 30th, 2009

Whitesnake is still awesome

And by awesome I mean awesomely stuck in the 1990′s.

I realize that the last 18 years have been tough for 1980′s hair bands. Grunge comes along to rape and pillage your careers. But this Internet thing comes around to let you link up with your few remaining fans. So you come up with this:

In 1996, this is a state of the art band website.  While most of the Internet universe is still making their way out of Gopher, CompuServe, and Prodigy, Whitesnake moves past the AOL universe into something that would even make the most accomplished HTML nerd on Geocities stand up and take attention.

Once again, however, Whitesnake is overtaken by the inertia of history. The Internet moves on…Geocities dies, AOL tries to destroy TimeWarner, the advent of Flash, Java, The Google, and Facebook. What is a over-the-hill rock band to do? Sure, they would’ve liked to invest money into a new website, however, the casinos and tractor pulls they’ve been playing sporadically over the past decade just don’t pay the bills like sold out arenas once did. They are touring with Judas Priest this summer. Perhaps Rob Halford can give the guys a loan to get their website at least into this century.

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